I've been screwing around on the internet for an hour because I was so dreading writing here. Yesterday was my "splurge day". A day for me to take a break from weighing and measuring food and tracking calories. One day a week to eat however much I want of whatever I want. It was the first splurge day that I really went overboard. I made tacos for my dad for Father's Day and I just ate way too much. That's all. That's ok..it was splurge day after all. I didn't feel bad about it at all.
I weighed myself this morning and I was 7 pounds up from yesterdays weigh in. My brain really does know that it's water weight, etc. I can't be exactly sure what happened brain/food wise after that. I ate a normal healthy breakfast of cereal and banana but when the mid-morning hunger set it I kept thinking about the cookies in the cabinet and couldn't stop thinking about them. I justified it by saying to myself that a couple cookies wouldn't hurt and then it was on... I just ate and ate and ate today. I can't even redeem myself by saying some of it was healthy, it was all junk. It may have been thoughts about if I'm going to gain that much that fast then who cares, I may as well eat what I want. Those three cookies.... something happened after I ate them. I've eaten a "junky" snack before as you all know but this time it didn't really help curb the want for more.
For the first time in the month I've been posting here, that I had the thought that I just can't do it. This addiction or whatever the hell it is, is just too strong for me to fight. I've been fighting it for 25 years and I never win. What's going to be different this time? I thought having this blog and posting here would be the difference but it didn't stop me today.
But I really want to continue to show losses each week. I don't know if that can happen this week but I'm going to try. I will get all the junk out of the house and start anew tomorrow. My goal for tomorrow is to track my food, stay within my calorie range of 1930, drink plenty of water to flush the system and make sure to take my bike ride. What else can I do but try.
I'm sorry to hear this but look at you. You are strong. A lesser person wouldn't make a plan for tomorrow or post anyway and let it all out there. You're already and always winning to me. Pick it up tomorrow and go girl!
ReplyDeleteDon't take this stumble to heart and let it overshadow an entire month of such hard work. You're very brave to be doing this "live" and out there for all to see. I like the last word in your post. "Try". Just try better tomorrow. Don't give up.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have bad days and you'll have weeks that you gain. It's just the way it is. Seven pounds in a day is impossible so it's definitely water. When you falter just get back on the wagon asap. It'll be okay, you should indulge everyone once and a while. Don't doubt yourself and maybe don't weigh yourself for a couple days.
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