12/365 - Photos

How I hate photos of myself.  What is appalling is how shocked I am each and every time I'm confronted with how I actually look.  Here is one of me and my staff at school:

The funny thing is that I thought I was looking pretty good that day.  I can't tell you how shocked and appalled I was when I looked at the photo to realize I look twice the size of anyone else in that photo.  Then I thought...well dummy you ARE twice the weight of anyone in the photo of course you look it.  I mean, I know I'm large (and in charge) but I guess I don't walk around with the realization of just HOW large.  I always think I carry it better, I guess.  Here's one of me being very brave:

I thought I looked like crap that day but the photo turned out ok, I guess.  It was so hot in there and I was so sweaty.  I don't think I even washed my hair that day.  But I'm hiding behind JS so I look smaller.  

I want my outsides to match my insides.  I want to feel good about myself no matter what my outsides look like.  Soon I hope.

Breakfast today was Archer Farms Granola from Target.  So good.  With milk and a banana.
Lunch was the same as yesterday and supper will be two little pizzas made with turkey pepperoni on cute little tortillas.   For morning snack I had two cookies (the last of them, Thank God) and in the afternoon I had an orange and one Dove peanut butter egg (What are those still doing around here??)

Calories came in about 1790.  I had a short walk for exercise as it is rainy and cold here.  Hope to get back on my bike tomorrow.

11/365

Started out with granola with milk and orange juice for breakfast.
Lunch was chicken salad and tortilla chips.  I swapped regular chicken for smoked chicken and it really brought the recipe up a notch.  I highly recommend this swap.
Supper was exactly the same as lunch.
4 cookies were consumed....better than yesterday and will do even better tomorrow.
What can I say?  The cookie habit is tough to kick.

10/365 - 12 Cookies

Yes, I said it.  And I ate it.

Today started off fairly well with Kashi cereal with banana slices and milk.  Also, orange juice.

But somehow throughout the rest of the morning (which was also devoted to Downton Abbey...oh how I love that show, the clothes, the chivalry, how upstairs and downstairs combine to make twisty turny plots.  But I digress...)  I ate 12 cookies. 

They were small.
I attempted to stop myself but couldn't.
I tried to compensate by adjusting the rest of the days calories.

I still went over by 200.

Not a major downfall, I know, but I wonder why I did this.

Not stress or depression.
It's summer vacation.
I'm not clamped in the shackles of grief right now.

Proximity and boredom.  Not boredom exactly but.... lack of routine? 
Don't know?

They definitely shouldn't be in the house.  I've put them in the car and will take them to my parents' house first thing.  Dollface spent the night Sunday and we made them.   I ran out of brown sugar so compensated with an extra half cup of white sugar making them light, crispy and delicious.

Anybody want me to STOP talking about cookies?

I will do better tomorrow.

9/365 - Gypsy Caravan

Breakfast was leftovers from brunch yesterday.  Pumpkin French toast and a little syrup and some fruit salad.

We went to the Gypsy Caravan Flea Market and walked and walked.  My knee gave out at about the same time as Dollface's patience but we saw a lot of cool stuff and made a few purchases.  Dollface had her first experience with bargaining.  Dad wanted to take us out to lunch but Dollface insisted that Mawmaw could make noodles that were just right so we ate at home.

I had leftover tuna salad wrapped in romaine leaves with cheezits and the rest of the fruit salad.

I also had 6 small cookies during the course of the day.  Suppertime is upon me and I'm not really sure what I'll have.  Something small...maybe a scrambled egg.

See you tomorrow.

8/365 - Weigh In #1

This morning I weighed in at 311 on the dot which means I'm down 6 pounds!   Don't get me wrong, I'm happy but I'm always leery when I lose weight that fast.   I'm truly eating about the same as I have been for a few weeks.  Maybe the bike riding and the heat.  Some of it could be water.  Doesn't matter... I'll take it.

I got a prank phone call last night.  Remember those relics from before caller id.  I thought they were nearly extinct now but at 3 am last night the phone rang.  I let the machine pick up and a clearly very young voice gave a heavy breath and then said they were "watching" me.  Watch way, Prankster, you brought back some good memories for me.  Although, I didn't care for being awakened at that hour, I couldn't help being nostalgic for all those slumber parties and all those prank phone calls.  Usually to boys and usually very giggly.  It wasn't her voice, but I wonder if 14 year old Stretch had anything to do with it.

Having my aunt and uncle and parents over for brunch today and taking the day off from measuring and logging calories.

7/365 - Goals

I've decided on a couple of goals. First, I'd like to lose 20 pounds and be under 300 by my birthday which is August 3. This would be big as getting close to a milestone such as this is always rough territory. I haven't been under 300 in years. I came close while I was pregnant and unintentionally losing 1-2 pounds a month and I can remember a few other times I've been close, but unable to stick with it. This time I will. Second, I would like to bike 1500 miles this year. I've already got about 230 in and I'll be biking everyday now that school is out, weather permitting. I'm going to work on really improving everyday and not just going "lalaala, I'm riding my bike" inside my head, of course and getting distracted by the birdies flying by. Food: Breakfast was the same as yesterday but with Kashi blueberry waffles. I liked Eggos better for this and Eng. muffins even better. Kashi, why didn't you stay crisp under the layer of PB? Going to put syrup on Kashi soon and see if I like them better. Lunch was the same as yesterday. Exactly the same. Pre-bike ride snack was a delectable room temperature orange. Supper was a little tuna salad I made with ranch dressing, celery, hard boiled egg and grapes. Also some carrots on the side. Evening snack WILL be a Skinny Cow cone. I would eat those things even if I wasn't watching what I ate. Good work, Skinny Cow, for making "diet" food that is better than it's "nondiet" counterpart. Sorry Namebrand drumstick cone, but your cone part gets chewy and there's no delightful fudgy stuff in your bottom. (hehehe) Calories: 1810/1930 A great bike ride in the wind today. So DRY here, I'm ready for some rain to bring down the dust.

6/365 - My Fridge

So breakfast was the same except with multigrain waffles instead of English an muffin. Lunch was a delicious Asian Turkey Burger (original recipe by Anne Burrellhere) except I added a tablespoon or so of sesame oil and I put them in muffin tins like little Asian meatloaves and baked them in the oven. Turned out well! I also had some corn and pretzels with ranch dip. Afternoon snack was apple slices with Biscoff spread. Supper was the same as lunch except with broccoli instead of corn. I might have a Skinny Cow single serve later. Calories 1875/1930. Exercise: one knee hurting walk and one glorious bike ride. Here's my fridge: The eggs are from our farm which is why there are so many. Be getting rid of a lot of them when my aunt and uncle come for brunch on Sunday. What do you think I ought to fill it with? PS> I love trying new things and will always accept recipe ideas or suggestions.

5/365 - Nora B. Dog

I have a new friend.  I couldn't get a decent picture of her for days but finally here she is.
 Nora B. Dog:
   And she laughs:  

My SIL was fostering this pretty gal and the moment I looked into her eyes I knew I had to take her home.  Her family was redoing the house and just suddenly didn't want 2 dogs.  Grrr.... people should realize what kind of commitment having a pet should be.  I already love her.  She's very sweet and wants to always be where I am.  She has a bounce in her step and is up for anything.  I'd forgotten what it was like to have a younger dog.  

When she went in to be spayed, the vet found a huge "stone"in her bladder.  I'd noticed that she still squatted to pee over and over again within a few minutes but wouldn't pee.  Today we went in for the follow up and after one and a half hours of waiting, he showed it to me.  Hard as a rock and a little larger than a golf ball, I'd say with rough surfaces.   I can't imagine what kind of discomfort she had with that thing in her bladder.  The vet says he will double check for infection but that the bladder lining could still be irritated from having that rough mass bouncing around inside.  One more week of antibiotics. 

Don't worry Clara B. is ok.  She still struggles with her back legs everyday but the vet says she probably won't tolerate a surgery to the other side and being that she had a minor cancer tumor removed a few months ago, we're just trying to manage her pain and monitor her closely. 

So on to the food:

Breakfast and lunch were the same as yesterday.
I had a dumdum sucker while waiting and waiting for the vet.  
Afternoon snack was an apple.
Supper was taco meat from the freezer that I'd made a few weeks ago from ground turkey, onions, black beans and seasoning.
Later I might have a single serve Edy's if I feel like it.

Total on calories was 1827/1930
Exercise:  Thank goodness I took Nora for a walk this morning even though it bothered my knee because I fierce and hot wind blew up this afternoon making me think biking was not a good idea. 

Other news:
I heart Phil Phillips and so glad he won American Idol this week.  I usually favor the singers from that show that are a little different.  You know, the girl with the dreads or the hippy who does everything acoustic and they usually don't win because they are just too different.  Which is exactly what I said about PP when I picked him as a favorite very early on but didn't think he'd win because his style was a little different.  Hurray, America...you can still chose talent over cookie cutter voices and looks.


I'm so comfortable in this new space!  I'm thinking of moving everything over here and making it my only space.  I don't know who or how many followed me over but those of you who did, what do you think?

4/365 - Last Day of School

It was a little nostalgic knowing that we're moving to a different school and they are closing this one.   I've laughed, cried, worried, sweated, complained, rejoiced, been stressed to the max, gained weight, lost weight, loved kids, disciplined kids, lost patience and played with kids, met with parents, made close friends with teachers, watched teacher friends come and go, watched kids grow up, been through 4 principals and 3 superintendents, taught kindergarten, first grade, second grade and reading in 6 different classrooms at this school for the past 14 years.  Lots of memories walking through the halls one last time.   

Today's Food:
Breakfast was PBJ on an English Muffin.
Last school snack was an apple.
Home in time for lunch and it was a chicken sausage on oatty nut bread, tortilla chips with Greek yogurt and salsa.
Out with a few of the yayas for dinner at a local wood fire pizza place.  I had a house salad and 3 small slices of bacon, potato and cheese pizza.

No way to count calories for the pizza but I estimate about 1900.  I didn't feel overly full after supper so I guess that's a good thing. 

3/365

For breakfast I had peanut butter and jelly on an English muffin (cause I was out of milk for cereal).

Snack was a coconut Luna bar.

Lunch was smoked chicken w/ a 2 T of barbeque sauce, pretzels, one Laughing Cow wedge and a cup of grapes.

After school snack was apple slices w/ more PB.

A little later, Dollface came over and wanted to "bake" something.  As I was out of butter and milk and oil I had her help make something I may have invented.  We warmed up 2 T of Nutella (LOOOOVE that stuff) and added 1 cup of crushed corn flakes, stirred then added a few mini marshmallows.  We split the bowl.    170 cals for each half.

In a little while, I'm having smoked chicken salad made with olive oil mayo and capers and maybe some peas for supper. 

I'll come out to 1645 of my 1930 calories. 

Since Dollface was here I didn't get a chance to ride my bike but my knee does feel a little better today.  Tomorrow is the last day of school so I hope I can quickly rest it up and get movin'.

2/365

My knee is killing me.  I've had some hard days at school packing and lugging heavy boxes but I MUST get some weight off these knees.

For b-fast I had Kashi berry cereal and milk.

Snack was a S'mores Luna bar.

Lunch was a 4 cheese cannolli lean cuisine and a cup of grapes.

For afternoon snack I had an apple I'd dropped a few times and had to eat around the bruises.  A little later at home, I had 2 Belvita cookies with a tiny smear of allfruit spread.   A while after that I had 2 rolo brownies (don't worry, they're out of the house now) and a glass of milk.

Supper was 2 scrambled eggs with an English muffin and all fruit spread and 2 turkey sausage patties.  I think I also ate 3 rolo candies sometime.  I'm working on getting all the sweets out of the house.

My calorie total for the day was:  1689 out of my 1930 daily allotment.   Not too shabby...I may have a few more grapes later if I want something else.

My knee was just killing me after school so no exercise today.  Hope the first days of summer bring healing to my knee.

It seems like it would be boring to read this day after day.    Do you think it will be?


PS.  Clara B. Dog is on a diet too.  She's having terrible trouble with her joints but the vet says she's not a good candidate for surgery being an older dog and all.  She needs to lose 8 pounds!  Which will bring her to a svelte 60.  The vet wants her on a prescription dog food for her joints.  I about choked when I saw the price...but what ya gonna do?

1/365

Well, here I am beginning another 365 project.  Upon the completion of my previous 365 project I immediately began asking myself what else could I do for 365 days.  Taking a photo everyday for a year was quite the challenge.  Many days I didn't feel like taking a photo and posting it, many days I felt like quitting but I stuck with it.  My hope is that I can stick with posting my eating and exercising habits and truly establish good routines.  On my other blogs I've found writing to be quite therapeutic and I am hoping to discover a lot about myself while writing here about the biggest challenge in my life. 

Today I weigh 317.  There.  I said it.  It's out there.  For the universe to see.  This is actually 40 pounds down from my all time high.  I think.  At that point, I was too large for my scale so that is an estimate.  I lost 40 pounds several years ago and somehow managed to keep it off through good times and bad, diets and binging.  I was close to 300 a year and a half ago when I was pregnant.  I consider it a miracle I didn't gain 100s of pounds while grieving my lost pregnancy.

Anyway, here I am.  Ready.  Day 1.

Breakfast was one serving of Kashi Crisp Berry Crumble and skim milk.  So good.  Reminds me of berry flavored Captain Crunch.

Lunch was an Amy's Cheese enchilada frozen entree.  I added nonfat Greek yogurt.  Not planing on making a habit of frozen entrees but it was there.  With a few tortilla chips and Laughing Cow Chipotle cheese.  Rounded it off with a handful of grapes.

Snack was 5 rolo candies.

Supper was  2 brownies and a glass of milk.

Calorie total was 1173.
My calorie allowance is 1930 so I did pretty good on calories today but ate way too much sugar.  I'll do better tomorrow.

Exercise was a bike ride.  I believe I went about 12 miles. 

Wow, it was really tedious typing that all out in addition to logging it all on myfitnesspal.com .  Not sure I'll want to keep that up....maybe just report calorie totals or something.

Anyway, I've been putting off starting this project for weeks so even though I'm not sure what form it will take or what I will post here....I've started.